Dont Judge Me

lightbulb2We’ve all heard these terms now, “Fat-Shaming”, “Slut-Shaming”, “transphobe”, and the ever so popular term “racist.”  These words are used so often that it’s almost second nature to most people.  I recall a story about myself when I was a child, no more than 10, when I asked my father why some people were black or brown and not white, and someone overheard and called me a racist.  I had no idea what that term meant then, as was the case with the word “Transphobe” when someone recently accused me of being one of them as well.  I had to look it up, and it is a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards transsexualism and transsexual or transgender people, based on the expression of their internal gender identity.  I had stated that you are either born with XX or XY Chromosomes and you cannot change that, but if you decided or feel you must be something different, you should do whatever makes you happy.  I guess if accepting people as however they want to be portrayed is a bad thing, lock me up and throw away the keys.

Growing up, if someone was fat you were taught to not be mean to them. Which is understandable, because nobody deserves adverse treatment.  I myself am obese and have struggled with diet and exercise for over 8 years now.  I honestly feel that anybody should be allowed to make any jokes they want, but some feel that only African-American people can tell “black jokes” or fat people can only tell “fat jokes.”  It should allow me to be able to express an opinion or humorous story about my weight, right? No. Apparently discussing my own weight in reference to how disgusting it is labeled me as a Fat-Shamer.  If you make a reference or a joke about obesity now, you will be ridiculed with various statements such as;

  1. “I am Just Curvy/Husky/big-boned!”
  2. “Im fat and proud!”
  3. “Not everyone is big because they’re lazy! It could be a medical condition!”
  4. “Diets don’t seem to work!”
  5. “I simply don’t have time to exercise.”

Listen, I made excuses for years.  I said “I’ve always had broad shoulders”, “I wouldn’t even be skinny if I lost weight, Im just a big guy.”  The simple truth is that those are all excuses for being fat.  Such a small percentage of people are obese because of medical problems, it’s barely registers.  People need to own up to their own vices, their own sins, and their own wrongdoing.  Forcing me to change to cater to their sensitivity over their own misgivings, is not only selfish but utter insanity.  This is what it equates to “I’ve made mistakes in my life and put my life in danger by being obese, but how dare you acknowledge that in jest not even directed at me personally and for that you must be punished for being a fat-shamer.” Is it wrong to insult people point-blank in public? Absolutely.  Is it wrong to tell jokes about people in general, ie stand-up comedy? No.
People use words like racist, homophobe, transphobe, and slut-shamer as insults towards people who may in fact genuinely hate people against those types of people.  But, in this modern day society, it is tantamount to “You don’t agree with me? You want to label me? Fine, I’ll label you as a person brimming with hate!” I personally have always felt that if a man sleeps with 10 women and a woman sleep with 10 men there is no difference, the word slut shouldn’t really apply unless the person wishes to call themselves that.
As far as racism is concerned, it affects 100% of the population 100% of the time.  How, exactly? Some people think race doesn’t even exist.  Well, if a white man does not hire a black man, the white man is racist.  Is a black man calls his neighbor a honky or cracker when he disagrees with something his neighbor did, that’s racist.  No one “race” should be able to accuse another of racism, without having to deal with racism back.  Do we forget that Chinese people were also enslaved? Not to mention that the Jewish people.  Not to mention the illegal  sex-trafficking across the globe is rather a “no holds barred” take on race globally. Stereotypes exist for a reason, and that’s not always a bad thing like people make them out to be. Nerds, for example are predominately introverted and sometimes unattractive males engaged passionately in video games, comic books, card collection or other socially unacceptable activities.  Does that mean that if you have one Pokemon card, you’re a nerd? No. Does it mean if you like Spiderman that you’re a nerd? No.  It’s just a stereotype, and not every one fits into it 100%.  To say black people eat fried chicken should not be racist, because not only does basically everyone enjoy delicious fried chicken but it’s basically commonly eaten by African-Americans throughout not only America but Europe as well.  To be called a racist for using stereotypes is like saying “Not All Women Have Vaginas!”. You’re right, not all of them do.  But quite a big percentage does.  Which brings me to my next point.
Women are determined by an XX Chromosome, and men by an XY Chromosome with slight variations that make each person a unique individual but gender or sex is determined.  No science or medical procedure can change that to date, not saying it won’t ever, but most likely not in my life time. Being born a woman, you will never be able to conceive as a male, being born a male you will never be able to conceive as a female.  If you choose to change your “Gender Identity“, that’s up to not only whatever may be going on in your head mentally, but also physically as far as imbalances and balances go, and also your experiences as a person growing up.  It could take you 5 years to realize though you were born a male,  you feel a woman inside.  Could take you 50, all depends on the person. And if it makes you happy, do it.  My personal philosophy is this, and don’t forget it; “If it makes you happy, you should be doing it as long as it doesn’t negatively affect other people.  If being a serial killer makes you happy, well I suggest picking up stamp collecting instead.”  I feel you have one life, and you should live it as you see fit.  Does this mean that going under surgery to attach a penis to your groins makes you a man?  No.  By definition you are genetically a female still, but if being a man however you wish to go about living as one makes you happy, you need to do it and as soon as possible, too.
We take all this time to be offended, when somebody doesn’t agree with us.  “Oh, you don’t like transgenders? TRANSPHOBE! SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!” when simply we just really shouldn’t care.  People think the way to progress and acceptance is “education”, well you just won’t change some people.  You won’t make your typical rednecked hillbilly racism free, it won’t happen. And guess what? They breed, too! Your best bet, instead of throwing a fit and screaming and yelling about somebody else believing something different, is just to continue about YOUR way, and be happy.  It’s as simple as that. If somebody is making a fat joke, don’t blame them for not accepting your obesity, blame yourself and either change or accept it yourself. That’s on  you. If somebody says “All black people are poor”, you can get offended and I can understand, that’s an offensive thing to say. But just remember it’s more a socio-economic problem with a great history of struggle, and you can either rise above all that or let it consume you. I suggest forgetting about it and moving on with your life, since he can’t change you and you can’t change him. “Don’t Judge Me” people scream when other people disagree with their life-choices or the way they were born, well I say to them “Let them judge you. It’s a reminder that you’re living the way you want”.

Proud nerd for life.